Estoy Pacheco European Tour: In Search of a Buzz

Eight percent of liquid bliss!

Estoy Pacheco's summer tour 2011 has us on the road in Europe. Last year we were stuck on a farm in Canada - pinche gringos!

First stop in Europe - Rome. While we couldn't find any herb we found Cannabis Beer. I was already drunk by the time I started chugging it down - at the Cantina Mexicana along the banks of the Tiber believe it or not - so I can't say with any certainty if it tasted like sativa or indica. I was just grateful that it didn't taste like skunk.


There must have something in the Cannabis beer. At least there should have been for eight euros a pop. Maybe the Europeans charge one euro per one percent of alcohol. Peroni which is like Miller High Life goes for four euros a pop and its four percent. And if you're trying to do the conversion factor of euro versus greenback I'll make it easy. One euro equals a million fuckin' dollars.

When I woke up three days later I headed over to Firenze for the Fourth of July. Simple Minds (remember them?) was opening a new Hard Rock Cafe with a free concert in the town square. The first opening act played two songs, destroying The Beatles in the process and leaving me suicidal. The next act had one of those names that made you think they were somebody but they weren't. It was like Buffalo Springsteen or Britney Houston. You think they are but they ain't. By the time Simple Minds hit the stage I was long gone eating some 'za. I had a munch on.

Spent the next week riding the rails and getting fleeced up and down Italy. Two pretty girls scammed me out of 25 euros at the subway in Milan for a three euro pass. A thimble sized cup of ice cream was six euros so I headed off to the beach in Cinque Terra in the hopes of catching some breaks or at least a break from the state sanctioned pick-pocketing. The beach at Cinque Terra while picture postcard perfect was postage stamp sized. The "free" beach was a 50 foot square! And of course, being Europe, that "free" beach cost 50 pesos to use the restroom to change into your beach wear.

By the time I made it back to the base camp in Firenze I needed a vacation from my vacation. Lou Reed was playing at a Blues Festival in a nearby town. Yeah, I know Lou Reed is to blues as Skunk Anansie is to blues...oh wait, Skunk Anansie was the headliner for the night before.

I was game for Lou. The last time I caught his act was at an outdoor show and he paused in the middle of his set so that we could all check out the lunar eclipse. The logistics of getting to the nearby Lou Reed show proved a little too daunting. If he took another break or hit the stage late we were gonna miss the last bus back to Firenze. Having been stranded one night in Pisa to sneak a quick look at that crooked tower (and in my pictures the damn building is straight and fuzzy) I did not want to be stranded again.

So to recap: The only weed  I've had came in a beer, I didn't see two concerts, got mugged, got fleeced and this weekend I'm going to try it all over again in Venice and see if I can walk on water...I hear the canals are open sewers.

Yours truly taking a much need break from Europe.